The Final DLC
by MetaDash
Summary: After the final Smash broadcast, the original 12 Smashers are tasked by Master Hand to break the news to...each applicant. With varying results. One-shot. Just something I whipped up to celebrate/acknowledge the end of it all.


**The Final DLC**

"Do we really have to do this?"

The original 12 Smashers were all seated a long table, with a banner displaying "Sm4sh DLC Tryouts". All of them either looked bored or annoyed.

It was Samus who posed to the question of the organizer of the tournament, Master Hand.

"Yes, yes, we've finally closed the ballot. We've picked our final fighters!"

"But-a a lot of people-a wanted to get in!" Luigi pointed out. "How many-a did you pick-a?"

"Three."

Ness's jaw dropped. Captain Falcon spit out his water. Pikachu gasped. Fox McCloud groaned and put a hand to his face. Link blinked. Jigglypuff whimpered. Mario muttered a prayer and took his hat off, and Donkey Kong nearly fell out his chair.

"Three?!" Luigi spluttered. "But…but….!"

"We couldn't leave it going forever, you know. You guys got Roy, Mewtwo, and Lucas back, plus a new exotic face in Ryu! But I'm pleased to announce all three final choices are newcomers!"

The giant hand passed a paper to Samus.

"…..but then…..no Nana or Popo?'

"I'm sorry." Master Hand bowed his fingers. "Tell it to Snake when you see him."

"Pika….." The yellow mouse said sadly.

"Wolf didn't make it either?" Fox asked in disbelief. "I thought he was a shoo-in!"

"Me too!" Falcon replied.

"Jiggly!"

Master Hand floated to the door.

"Just break it to them easily. They're all waiting outside."

Cautiously, Ness got up and opened the side door, letting a treasure trove of characters run in and stand before the table.

Everyone looked hopeful to some degree.

The psychic boy sat back down next to Pikachu.

"Ummm…..hello, everyone. We just received the final picks."

"And? And?!" Waluigi grinned, rubbing his hands together.

"Well-a…..three of you got in." Mario said.

All of the choices muttered the number amongst themselves. Didn't someone say it'd be six?

"Well…..who got in?" Shantae, the half-genie asked.

"Ummm…Samus, why-a don't you tell them?"

Glaring at Mario, the bounty hunter looked down at the paper, reading through it.

"Um….well, sad to say, no veteran is part of the list. Roy, Mewtwo, and Lucas were the last ones for the DLC."

"WHAT?!"

Wolf O'Donnel stepped forward, his face cross. He immediately turned to Fox.

"You said I'd make the cut, McCloud!"

"I never said anything of the sort! I just thought it'd be obvious because we got Lucas!"

He growled again.

Red, Ivysaur, and Squirtle all bowed their heads sadly and walked out of the room, earning sympathetic stares from Pikachu and Jigglypuff.

"Ah…..well, that's the roll of the dice, huh?" Solid Snake muttered, putting a hand through his now greying locks. "Been a pleasure all the same, guys. Take care."

"You-a too." Mario said. The others all nodded.

Snake walked to the door and lit a cigar. He took out his phone.

"Colonel? Yeah, it's me. No, I didn't make it, they picked the last of them…."

"I'm not gonna forget this, you bastards." Wolf snarled and followed Snake out of the door, giving Fox one last dirty look.

Now only the applying newcomers were left.

"Okay…..keep in mind that we thank all of you for even wanting to join Super Smash Bros." Fox said. "And that there's always future tournaments, okay?"

"Just tell us!" Son Goku shouted. He really wanted to fight some strong guys.

"[I thought we said no animu people?]" DK signed to the other members of the group.

"Yeah, we did….." Samus muttered.

"Okay…..uh…." Luigi looked at the first name on the list.

"Tell us laddie!" Shrek the ogre was getting impatient now.

"Did he even come from a game?" Fox asked Ness, who shrugged.

Luigi squinted.

"Corrin."

"Who?" Everyone wondered out loud.

"Hi."

Two grey-haired figures stepped forward. Both of them had identical armor, with black and grey, and a blue slash. Both had red eyes, and curiously, no shoes.

"I'm Corrin. Well, so is she."

"We're alternate universe versions of each other. He picked Hoshido, but I decided to stay with my family in Nohr."

"The better choice." M!Corrin coughed.

"You wish! Nohr's royal family look _gorgeous_! It's a good thing we're not related by blood!" F!Corrin thought of her hot older brothers and sister and licked her lips.

"Spoilers!" Luigi shouted, covering his ears.

"What the hell-a is this?!" Waluigi growled. " _Another_ Fire Emblem character?! Don't you think you guys have enough of those?"

"Well, we don't have quotas on that." Samus said, shaking her head. "That'd just be silly."

"What makes them different from Robin?" Isaac demanded.

Both figures thought for a minute.

"We can turn into a dragon!" They replied in unison.

Ridley was already throwing things out of the window in rage.

"The second choice?" Steve from Minecraft asked. He was still confident, thanks to the latest Nintendo-Microsoft deal for his game!

Now Falcon took the paper.

"Uhh…yep, okay….some woman named Bayonetta?"

"What?!" Every applicant asked.

"Charmed."

A tall woman with glasses and black hair had stepped forward, her steps radiating with a certain….pride and charisma.

"I didn't think I would get in…..I was just applying as a joke. I suppose I'll have to tell Jeanne and Rodin now." She said in her exotic British accent.

"What?!" Shovel Knight was outraged. "But her games are rated M! For 'mature'! Not 'must be in Smash Bros'!"

"Pika, pika pika." Pikachu replied, as if to say that Smash applicants are never barred from joining due to the nature of their home world.

"Says here she just looked fun. She won the Smash Ballot." Falcon said.

Bayonetta winked at her rivals.

"What is this nonsense?!" King K. Rool lumbered over and pointed a scaly finger in Mario's face. "You expect me to believe that I didn't win?!"

"Uh….yeah-a?"

"But that's crazy! I was a big hit back in the day!"

"How many games have you been in the last decade?" Fox asked, with a slight deadpan.

"Oh don't play that game with me, boy. Your series was about to die! Then bam! Blue fox boobies!"

Krystal was glaring at the crocodile now.

"Can we just focus?" Kumatora said. "Who was the last contestant?"

Now Ness took the paper.

"Hmm….Cloud?"

Everyone stepped to the side to reveal Cloud Strife, who was snoring loudly as he slept in a chair.

"ZZZ…No…..Sephiroth, no! Don't…..kill…..Aerith again…." He muttered.

"WHAT?! You gotta be joking!" Waluigi snarled. "Give me-a that paper!"

"That's what it says! You're already an assist trophy!"

Jigglypuff took the paper.

"Puff? Jiggly! Jigglypuff!" She said.

Silence.

"Translation – some of you will get tribute mii costumes. Geno, Takamaru, Tails, and Knuckles." Samus provided.

Takamaru shrugged. He was an assist trophy too.

Geno looked slightly annoyed, as if some fabrications could match him?

As for the other two-

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA SSSSSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNN!" Knuckles was dancing and cheering on a table with a lamp shade on his head, with Tails doing with the same.

"Let's rub it in Eggman's face!"

"Mii costumes? You have GOT to be joking." Hades scoffed. "Nothing for little old me?"

"Didn't Pit kill you, or something?" Fox asked.

"Ganondorf's still around too, you know, and Link kills him every other week! Oh well…." He growled when Viridi began to mock him for having more representation.

"So…..is that really it?" Banjo asked. He and Kazooie were hoping they could get another shot in the limelight, after their….. _interesting_ last game.

"Sorry-a." Mario replied.

The male Inkling put a comforting hand on the female Inkling's shoulder.

"Best of luck to you all then." James Bond said, adjusting his cuffs. "We'll be leaving now."

"Wait! Can you say "shaken, not stirred"?" Falcon asked, Ness nodding in agreement.

"That's Connery Bond. I'm Craig Bond." The secret agent scoffed.

"Well gang, it's okay. We always have Smash 5." John Cena said, bringing everyone in to put his arms around them. "So let's try our hardest to have senpai notice us."

"Is…..he…..even…..?" Samus asked Link, who shook his head.

And with that, the applicants left the room, some still cursing the other Smashers, some….sad but hopeful for the future, and others….still being Tails and Knuckles.

"Well! That wasn't so bad." Fox said, smiling at the newcomers before them.

"Indeed." Bayonetta replied.

Cloud was still asleep.

"ZZZ…Tifa no…no means no….get that rope away from me…..!"

"So what now?" M!Corrin asked.

"Well, we settle you all in, and introduce you to the others."

Just then, the room was rumbling, shaking the table and the glasses on it.

"What's-a going on?!" Mario asked, with Luigi clutching his arm.

"Oh no…..the fans…..the internet! Crap! We have to do something!" Samus said, putting on her power suit.

"The salt levels will reach critical mass….!" Fox whispered dramatically.

"Hmm….sounds like fun." Bayonetta summoned the four guns to her hands and feet. "I could use some entertainment!"

"Me too!" M!Corrin replied.

"Can't I just be with Camilla, Leo, and Xander? That'd be more entertaining for _me."_

"Save it for the fanfics!" The male manakete growled at his female counterpart.

"Sigh…..it happens-a every time." Mario muttered.

Everyone got up and charged when the angry fanboys and fangirls burst through the walls, each of them wearing the shirts showing their preferred picks, as well as disparaging remarks against Masahiro Sakurai.

Except for Cloud, who was still asleep.

"Zzzz…what…..no….no, Square, how could you?! _Episodal…..releases_?! NOOOOOOOO!"

 **FIN**


End file.
